Types Of Phones You Should Know About (Funny)

We all notice a range of people around us every day. Different surroundings welcome different personalities. Different friend circles comprise of different types of people. But their personalities aren’t the only thing that is special about them. I’m here to disclose the types of phones that these personalities carry. Brands might be a way to identify one’s phone but these types are the most distinctive way to identify one’s phone in the squad. 

The Ninja Turtle

Welcoming the most advanced type of phone that we see in a group. This has a local name as well, the “Chinese phone”, even though it may or may not be Chinese. This is the cheapest phone in the group. However, the price point doesn’t stop it from being the coolest. This phone has tons of cool features that still haven’t been introduced in the top brands.

This phone might look like an iPhone and have features of an X-box. It might look like a Ferrari model and have more than 6 sim slots. These phones can be used as a remote substitute for the TV or even used as a lighter! This phone has it all. It may not last long but its price point makes it less painful. 

The Diva  

In contrary to the Ninja Turtles, this is the most expensive phone in the group. This phone is from a top brand and its price goes beyond the owner’s annual tuition fees. For the price point, you’d think this phone has it all. Plot twist: this phone pretty much never has storage. And for the price point, you’d think you’d at least get extra storage for free. Crashing all your expectations, you take out your credit card and pay for space that you can’t even live in. This is obviously to store all the selfies that aren’t yours.

This phone does have an outstanding camera quality so, you own a DSLR, well, almost. This phone annoys you and your friend circle. Its battery backup doesn’t let you travel without chargers or power banks. It’s so expensive and useless that some nights you’re staring at your ceiling, interrogating yourself, “what the hell was I thinking?!”. This phone needs the internet for everything. o, if you’re stranded on an island with it, you’ll be stuck there forever but you’ll add photography in your “hobbies” for sure! 

The Vintage

This phone has been in existence even before humankind. Well, that’s how it feels because that’s how long they have has been using it. This phone is precious. It’s so old it belongs in the museum in the Prehistoric section. This phone might be pretty much a fossil but it is still going strong. Its battery backup is unbelievable. The screen looks quite alright despite having survived evolution.

This phone still has more features than The Diva. Despite having so many pictures and videos, it somehow still has enough space to even store movies. You keep yelling and complaining that they should replace it. But there’s not a single thing you can point out to convince them. 

The Abstract Art

That is exactly how their screen looks! Looking at the phone you’d think it was used as an armour in a world war. This phone is so broken, it makes you feel whole. The owner of this phone has dropped it in every possible site. It’s a mystery how, but from hills to toilets to roads to walls. This phone has been through hell and back. It can actually be used as a weapon. This phone isn’t the costliest.

However, it has been repaired so many times that its net worth goes beyond most celebrities. There is not a single time we can recall this phone not being broken. All the features aside, this phone can only be used for long distant calls. And by long distance, I mean a call maintaining a long distance from the phone and the face because you don’t wanna end up with abstract art on your face too!

The Star

The ultimate phone! This phone is the superhero of the squad. This phone isn’t the most expensive one. It doesn’t have all the features. But, it has just enough to take some of the best pictures. When The Diva fails, this phone comes to the rescue, as usual. You have some of the best pictures on this phone. It survives the whole day without you worrying about it embarrassing you. It magically has so much storage at the same price point that it can be used to document evolution.

This phone, however, doesn’t receive enough recognition from the general public. However, the squad knows its actual worth. This phone has all the new features before most of the phones. It’s the best of both The Ninjas and The Divas. You can never get bored with this phone and it always surprises you with new features as you go on exploring it. 

The Payphone

This phone doesn’t necessarily have a specific owner. This is mostly “almost” owned by kids with strict parents. Their parents believe that phones are the root of all evil. These kids have a hard time being cool around people. Their parents would always find a way to rain hail on their flex. This phone is usually a rejected phone with basic features. It’s useless to the point you don’t wanna use it anymore and useful to the point you can’t just throw it away.

This phone is the type that only works on a Standard-sized Sim card. It’s the type that can’t be held too close to the face because your cheeks would somehow end the call. And coming to calls, the most used phrases when taking calls from this phone are “What??”,” come again ??”, because of its degrading audio quality. This phone naturally doesn’t have any storage so you can only view from a lesser-known browser pre-installed. This phone might be flawed but it still has a price to pay. The price is their social life if their parents ever find out they’ve been using it! 

The Xerox Machine

Image Credits: macrumors.com

The name itself brings up images in your head doesn’t it? Like people imitate celebrities, phones also imitate other famous phones. This type comprises of phones from pretty much any brand. The brand isn’t the worst and it actually is quite popular among people. It mostly tries to duplicate the Divas of the phone world at unbelievable low prices.

Its quality can’t be complained about because of the price point. This phone is always mistaken for other phones because of how neatly its duplicated! People actually prefer buying these because they get the best of the best at such low prices.

The Queen B

This one is for the 90’s babies. This phone is mostly popular among girls. It’s none other than the all time classic “The Flip Phone”. If this phone was a person, it would definitely be Regina George from the Mean Girls Movie. The classic slam of flip phone was the symbol of sass in the 90’s.

All 90’s kids, especially girls can relate because of its popularity in the movies of the 90’s, mostly being used by some of the most iconic Hollywood actresses. This phone had its own era, its own charm. The queen B of all phones, people still wish for this phone to make an upgraded and revolutionized comeback.

The Immortal

This the most resistant phone of the group. It is a backup that pretty much everyone in the squad owns. This phone doesn’t have storage or even a good camera or in most cases no camera at all but it sure does have memories of a good time. We just can’t seem to throw it away. Its battery lasts for decades after charging just once. It never breaks. War? Earthquake? Nothing can break this phone.

Its screen might have been made of diamond because it might have been with us for ages but still doesn’t have a scratch. It has the least of features but games – Snake, Bounce, Carrom and Sudoku still unites us all and gives us a boost of good and simpler time! 

The Original Gangster

This is probably the phone 99% of us can recall to when we think of the first phone we’ve ever used. Today’s kids will not even recognize these phones. The classic “telephone”. It’s still used in a lot of places but it is very rare. Some attached to a cable, some with a rotary dial. This phone reminds us all of the simple times. When life was less problematic, there was less competition and kids would still play outside all day.

This phone has only one feature, to transfer important information in as few minutes as possible. More than technical features, this phone has emotional features. This phone is seen pretty much as a show piece in everyone’s house. It takes us down on a memory lane where people still socialized looking into each other’s eyes.

Read Also: Types Of Alternatives For Chinese Apps

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